22 agosto 2006

Fallacy

i am that girl.

i am the girl that likes skirts and looking pretty, even if it means looking a little less punk.
i am the girl that likes the 50's.

i am your jealous ex-fling that looks up your ex-girlfriend on the internet.

i am the poser that pretends to be a rebel but can't free herself entirely of social expectations.

i am the one that talks of social movements while she can barely move.

i am the girl that likes baking cake and cooking and retro photoshoots.

i am the one that apologizes for practicing her rights.

i need excuses to like certain kinds of music, because pop is bad and certain things only hold credibility when they have a bit of irony.

the girl that left myspace but still stalks. the girl that thinks she should be the queen. the girl that reads the paper to make fun of the love columns but gets angry when they say something that hits too close to home.

i am deception and disillusion. i am fucked up in the head.

sometimes i think that i should have never consented to certain things, but that since i did, i have no right to be angry about them or about what was done to me because i gave a green light.

i am too understanding and it prevents me from getting angry so people get away with things. but it's the only way i can live, because i want to understand human nature and once i understand it, i dismiss it.

i am pmsing and tonight, i just wish i really was who i sometimes wish i could pretend to be.

but i'm not. i'm just a big ball of hormones and tears.

oh darling, it's so sweet, you think you know how crazy
how crazy i am
you say you don't spook easy, you won't go, but i know
and i pray that you will
fast as you can, baby run free yourself of me
fast as you can
i may be soft in your palm but i'll soon grow
hungry for a fight, and i will not let you win
my pretty mouth will frame the phrases that will
disprove your faith in man
so if you catch me trying to find my way into your
heart from under your skin
fast as you can, baby scratch me out, free yourself
fast as you can

- Fiona Apple "Fast as you can"